I haven't been here for a while. People who read my last entry might think that I'm occupied by my new job. Actually it's not, I stay unemployed since the first day of this month.

The first day of August (this month), I dressed myself, and got up early to catch up the subway and bus, to arrive in office at my first day. When I was there, the receptionist had no clue about my coming, she said she didn't get any notification. And the lady from HR Dept. who contacted me was in her vacation, so she called a few people, it took about 20 mins, later she told me that I have to come back to the office in downtown, because my position supposed to work in the office in downtown (On my contract, it states I work not in downtown).

After I came out of the building, I felt it's utterly strange, and started to worry (Before the day I read their website, and found that they totally changed their high-level managerment group half month ago, it sounded they're having some troubles), maybe I would be not needed anymore. During the way came back to downtown, I called T to inquiry what I should act and negotiate with them if I'm told that I'm fired because I'm not familair with German labor law. T thought it probably would not happen, maybe the company would not keep me very long if they're really in troubles, but it would be very unnormal that I will be fired at my first day.

When I arrived at the another office, the same thing happened, the person who I supposed to talk to also didn't know about me. She lead me to a coffee corridor, offered me a bottle of drink and one company booklet, I sat there around 20 mins, then finally came a guy to me. He told me that the company is in a special situation(financial troubles) and he can not see there is any points that I can start working for them, so he suggested I start the work on Sept, if I can not accept it, then they have to terminate the contract.  I'm not a kid, and I think he was just try to 'soften the blow' by saying 'start the work on next month' blah blah. I cut his words up and said: 'Let's speak frankly, I can try to understand your situation, but first pls speak to me frankly and directly', he looked a little bit embarressed, I asked can he promise 'the job from Sept', he said he can not. So, that means I'm fired. We sat there and talked for a little while, I told him that this situaton brings me lots of troubles, he appologied. I was unhappy with it, but I was peaceful and calm.

I mean I can understand sometimes some companies could fall in big troubles and fire lots of people, people would feel very unhappy, but it's life, it happens. But one thing bothered me, that is: Nobody notified me a tinny little bit earlier. The HR lady went to her vacation and totally forgot about my contract. What a messy system! Too unprofessional and unpolite!

The very fact is: They totally forgot me. Because at the first day they just notified me orally, but not with a formal paper notification. According to German law, namely one employee can not be fired without writen-down notification. So based on the contract, they have to pay me two weeks plus these days which is from the first day till the day I receive the formal notification (Generally common contract gives first half year as trial period, during the period, either side can fire another side with two weeks earlier notification, so to tell the truth, there is no room to negotiate with them).

So my life came back to the former one(earlier I'm still hired by my Taiwanese company, working at home, but now totally unemployed). I had registered a evening class(German, twice per week), after I came back from the company, I changed my class to every-morning class. And continue searching a new job.

I was a little bit upset and depressed. One evening T read me something said that I should enjoy every moments of my life. I think about it, and I agree with it. People regret about their past, and worry about their future, but forget their Today. Tody turn to past, and furture is still furture, people just miss the right moment. Since I can not change the past, and anyway furture itself will come to become today and yesterday, why people should be so anxious that they forget enjoying some of their little time(If they already do what they should do and will do the same for their future)? I also remember the Wugui master's words (from film Kung Fu Pondar):'Yestery is a history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that we call it present.'

So if I need continue 'fighting', why carry with a bad mood but not a soomth and cheerful mood? 

I heard about one sentence, rude and crude, but to some extent, I think it makes sense: 'Sometimes life is like a rape, if you can not fight against it, you have to try to enjoy it'(my life is not that horrible).

Just a job, what's the big deal? I could try to find another one! If it fails, what's the big deal, I can promot myself to be a mother!

We went to Venice, which is the city I longed to see. I'm not dispointed, and I like the city, a water city, using boats as their bus, which, to me, sounds and looks a bit more like a fairy tale than reality (I'm just a little girl in some parts of my heart).

One thing not that pleasant is the weather was hot, and very strong sunlight. We Chinese women don't enjoy these very much, especially the latter. I missed Starbucks during the trip, the cool air and one cap of icy coffee.

Some times people don't really notice their mood when they're smoothly/continuingly pleased, but I guess the face will tell. When we went to buy a small thing in a shop, the lady asked us: 'Are you just got married?' T felt curious and asked why she asked so, the lady said because she thinks we looked like we were in our honeymoon. After we went out of the shop, I told T, yes, I did enjoy the trip and his accompany (Actually I enjoy most of time spent with T during our fast-2-years marriage). T smiled and we hold hands.

I got the work contract and will start the work next month (I tried to make a last business contract for my curent company before I leave them, but I failed--I passed the case to a colleague to handle before I went for the vacation, when I came back he told me the cusomter booked products from another supplier) and I think it won't be easy at the begining, I think everything is not easy living in Germany, but things will be better and better, maybe sometimes something gets better in a very very slow speed, but anyway it's not bad if it's in the right track and towards a right direction.

Now I just worries about how to get rid of some weight.. I wish I could lose 5 KG!

I updated the entry of 'My husband is an alien'

And, there is a company said they would like to hire me, the position name is 'Head buyer', actually the work I need do is just cooperate in Germany with office in Shanghai and suppliers in China. They said they would send me the contract draft to me. I haven't received it till now. But it sounds I would have a job soon.

There is another interview I made with SE, and they said they will answer me 1-2 weeks later, so I just wait to see. 

Today in a forum a few married women talked about their husbands and marriage. They're saying: 'I believe there are at least ten million men in this world, who are right for me, not only my husband.' 'My husband is lucky, because I picked him, but not other million men who also matchs me'. 'Of coz my husband is not the one and only'. 'If we split, I would easily find some one esle who is also suitable for me.' etc.

True, theoretically, it's right, there exists million of men who are good enough and right for you. According to the same theory, for one 'Right Man', there are also million of right-women existing and available in this world for him. That means there are billion right women for these million men who are right for you. The million-right-men pond doesn't only belong to you, but belong to the billion-right-women sea. Vice versa. Nobody sitting there wait you to pick him/her. They also have their large choice possibility.

Apart from that, even if all of the million Right Men wait in their lives for you, how big is the probability that you will meet and encounter them, recognize them(these who are right for you), and go through all of the conflicts and troubles and stay togather, which is based on the premise that these right men think you're right for them too. If thinking of this way, your probability of meeting a right person is very small, but not the number of million!

In one word, no matter you're man or woman: If you feel you already met the right one, cherish it! You dropped your other million choices, he did the same too. So do not take yourself too serious, unless you think you're the God.   

Long time ago I read an article said there are millions of alien immigrated to the earth, living with us, without causing awareness from human being, because they're totaly as similar as us, it's very difficult to distinguish them, unless you get trained. But the article also offers a few tips, one is: Alien will stay with one channel very long, but not just switch between different channels freuquently, when they watch TV, because they want to absorb the info as more as they can.

I practiced this on my husband: I watched him, pretending I was arranging the stuff on table, when he watchs TV. The result is pleasant: T just couldn't stay with one channel longer than 1 min. I felt a bit released, that moment I thought: Good, my man is not an alien. But the story is not that simple, I found out the fact is opposite......

Because there are so many things are unusual......

The alien doesn't know how to pick a gift. Alien already learn to buy flowers sometimes. For this basic thing, he has no problem. But he has no clue what kind of things he could choose as a gift for his wife. Once he was heading to Thailand for a business trip, the wife said: 'Bring me one pair of earings'. Alien was back with empty hands and showed a suffered face: 'I went to a shop, but I really don't know which earings suits you, so I didn't buy'. Then I understand as a human being woman, in case you just have an alien as your husband, you have to learn to be patient and understanding.

The alien hates shopping. This May when we were back to Shanghai, I planed to buy some new trousers for him, since these he has are a bit old already. Alien was uneasy during the process. When it's done, he seemed quite relaxed. Later he confessed:'I was stressed, I don't know which looks better, and which not.' If you marry to an alien, for his health sake, you'd better make the shopping process short, short and short. And do not bring him along if you puchase your own stuff.

The alien's body construction is different. I found it's hard to lean on him, which I used to do a lot in the past. Most time when I just lean myself against him, on shoulder or belly, he usually would sounds uncomfortable: 'Errr...', and sometimes painful:'Ouch...'. At start, I was wondering if there is a small bone or needle on my head or somewhere of my body, I checked and didn't find anything strange. But alien can enjoy leaning on me because I have a normal constructionof body.

Alien's tast changes in different time. He had tried green bean soup in a restaurant in Shanghai, he liked it. Since it's a very simple dish(you just put the green bean, suger into water till they got boiled), I cooked once for him when we were in Germany. Alien ate it with big curiosity and interest. After two spoons, he frowned and muttered: 'What a strange thing, I never tasted this before'. I had to judge if alien has a bad memory or the function of his tongue is different. I think it's the latter. Once again, we had this dish when we went to visit my mother, he commented (to me): This is interesting, not bad.' You can not deny that alien is really funny.

Alien feels guity if he doesn't wash dishes. One day, I cooked, we ate all of foods, I brought the dishes to kitchen, and started to wash, but alien ran to me and stopped me:'No,no,no, I wash them, you already cooked, otherwise I will feel guity.' That's sweet......I see the benefit of having an alien as husband. Now the rule is: One cooks, another one washes.

Too many details to describe here. But women, if you pay attention, you can discover it, if your husband is an alien or not. But if you're lazy, you may do the same as I did: Ask him directly. One day I couldn't withdraw my curiosity, so I asked T: 'It's said aliens always stays on one channel when they watch TV, but why you change so frequently?' T was not so concentrated, so he released his secret:'Because we aliens learn better how to cover ourselves not to be distinguished.' ACHSO(german)!

Anyway, no matter if T is an alien or not, I'm quite happy living with him and willing to help him to adapt to the life in the earth, and seems he improves himself too. Last time after his another business trip, he brought me Durian chips! And generally alien is nice and gentle, so definitely, I won't report him to policeman. 

Finally arrived at home in Shanghai, after around 10 hours flying from Munich to Beijing, and another 2-3 hours from Beijing to Shanghai. I found I'm quiet 'old' now and not used to this kind of trip. Whole of the night in the plane I could not sleep, my ass hurts like hell. It was 1 or 2 hours that I managed to have a nap,during the nap, I had a strange dream, I could not remember it very well, only know there were some alleins, they kept repeating: WE COME, WE TAKE. Weird stuff......

So compared to my 18 age, I'm 'old', already a dry old 'bone'. When I was 18, I remember there was once I took train to come home(in Yunnan) from Shanghai, I gave my bed ticket to my friend, and sat alone in another carrage near around 60 hours with hardly moving(there was too crowded), but seemed that experience was ok to me(even though I just experienced it once, other times I took plane). And now 10 hours made me moan. And it let people to realize the benefit of being a millionare: it makes you can afford a business class ticket, then it saves your weak ass.

I spent lots time of the night to read, a book from Osho. I'm just interested in how he sees Taoism. Some of his words makes sense, and some does not(to me). But it let me think about people and life again. Generally you could say they're and it's miserable. look deep down there, people's nature and limitation are the reason. I warn myself not to think too much, but watch the life, live the life.

Now I'm tired, I'm going to have a rest.

Today I received the fifth rejection after interviews.

There are two from HR companies, for these two, I didn't really hold hopes, taking the interview was just to expand the chance and possibilities. That's all.

As for other three, directly from the employee: TI, Emerson, and TTI. They are something for me.

About TI and Emerson, I could understand their rejection: Anyway they're such big companies, they must have many other excellent candidates who can defeat me easily. About TTI, I'm not sure, the job for the position is not complicated, IMO, I'm competent, but I still have no chance. Maybe the problem is my German? (But all the interviewors said German is not that important as English. Or I just should not take their words seriously.)

So, still need keep trying and searching, again and again, until I find something, or until I'm total frustrated and get old, then I give up?

Let it go, I can not control things which are out of my control. Just have faith, and life itself will lead it......

至今为止发生的不算严重，但是事态会就此打住吗? 如果是的话，那些行动和小丑闹剧有什么区别?

如果有后来，那就是恐怖袭击，在奥运会上。等着看吧，什么都有可能发生。

计划五月份返回上海，我早早就在做计划，回去怎么腐败一番。写将下来，至少可以先行自我YY一下。

最主要的是吃，其他的可以忽略不计。下列是本姑娘要‘临幸’的：

1.南翔小笼（在电话上先过嘴瘾时，我妈第一句话就是：南翔小笼也涨价了。）

2.八佰伴的避风塘（凤爪，鸭舌，芒果布丁，etc.）

3.韩罗苑的烧烤（上海那么多韩国烧烤，就是这家最具风味。强烈推荐，这可是经我的朝鲜前同事鉴定过的。缺点就是地理位置就是不那么的便利了哈。）

4.东方路靠近我公司的一家海鲜店，手艺不错，种类繁多，价钱嘛，那是有点小贵的。

5.想去吃大渔。搞点生鱼片和嫩牛肉，价钱不贵，性价比高。

6.吴江路上羊肉串。

7.找个比较有特色的地方吃火锅（哪里还没有想好。）

8.臭豆腐（听说顺风的不错，但是以前去了N次，一次也没有尝。这次补上？）

9.裕*的生煎。

10.其他的，容我慢慢想来......。

为了在幸福大吃的同时，保持‘苗条’的身材，将会携带娘亲同去游泳（一周2-3次）。对了，再伙同死党去趟珠宝展销会。基本任务就是这些了。哇哈哈！！