Enjoy every moments

I haven't been here for a while. People who read my last entry might think that I'm occupied by my new job. Actually it's not, I stay unemployed since the first day of this month.

The first day of August (this month), I dressed myself, and got up early to catch up the subway and bus, to arrive in office at my first day. When I was there, the receptionist had no clue about my coming, she said she didn't get any notification. And the lady from HR Dept. who contacted me was in her vacation, so she called a few people, it took about 20 mins, later she told me that I have to come back to the office in downtown, because my position supposed to work in the office in downtown (On my contract, it states I work not in downtown).

After I came out of the building, I felt it's utterly strange, and started to worry (Before the day I read their website, and found that they totally changed their high-level managerment group half month ago, it sounded they're having some troubles), maybe I would be not needed anymore. During the way came back to downtown, I called T to inquiry what I should act and negotiate with them if I'm told that I'm fired because I'm not familair with German labor law. T thought it probably would not happen, maybe the company would not keep me very long if they're really in troubles, but it would be very unnormal that I will be fired at my first day.

When I arrived at the another office, the same thing happened, the person who I supposed to talk to also didn't know about me. She lead me to a coffee corridor, offered me a bottle of drink and one company booklet, I sat there around 20 mins, then finally came a guy to me. He told me that the company is in a special situation(financial troubles) and he can not see there is any points that I can start working for them, so he suggested I start the work on Sept, if I can not accept it, then they have to terminate the contract.  I'm not a kid, and I think he was just try to 'soften the blow' by saying 'start the work on next month' blah blah. I cut his words up and said: 'Let's speak frankly, I can try to understand your situation, but first pls speak to me frankly and directly', he looked a little bit embarressed, I asked can he promise 'the job from Sept', he said he can not. So, that means I'm fired. We sat there and talked for a little while, I told him that this situaton brings me lots of troubles, he appologied. I was unhappy with it, but I was peaceful and calm.

I mean I can understand sometimes some companies could fall in big troubles and fire lots of people, people would feel very unhappy, but it's life, it happens. But one thing bothered me, that is: Nobody notified me a tinny little bit earlier. The HR lady went to her vacation and totally forgot about my contract. What a messy system! Too unprofessional and unpolite!

The very fact is: They totally forgot me. Because at the first day they just notified me orally, but not with a formal paper notification. According to German law, namely one employee can not be fired without writen-down notification. So based on the contract, they have to pay me two weeks plus these days which is from the first day till the day I receive the formal notification (Generally common contract gives first half year as trial period, during the period, either side can fire another side with two weeks earlier notification, so to tell the truth, there is no room to negotiate with them).

So my life came back to the former one(earlier I'm still hired by my Taiwanese company, working at home, but now totally unemployed). I had registered a evening class(German, twice per week), after I came back from the company, I changed my class to every-morning class. And continue searching a new job.

I was a little bit upset and depressed. One evening T read me something said that I should enjoy every moments of my life. I think about it, and I agree with it. People regret about their past, and worry about their future, but forget their Today. Tody turn to past, and furture is still furture, people just miss the right moment. Since I can not change the past, and anyway furture itself will come to become today and yesterday, why people should be so anxious that they forget enjoying some of their little time(If they already do what they should do and will do the same for their future)? I also remember the Wugui master's words (from film Kung Fu Pondar):'Yestery is a history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that we call it present.'

So if I need continue 'fighting', why carry with a bad mood but not a soomth and cheerful mood? 

I heard about one sentence, rude and crude, but to some extent, I think it makes sense: 'Sometimes life is like a rape, if you can not fight against it, you have to try to enjoy it'(my life is not that horrible).

Just a job, what's the big deal? I could try to find another one! If it fails, what's the big deal, I can promot myself to be a mother!

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