My husband is an alien / 我先生是个外星人

Long time ago I read an article said there are millions of alien immigrated to the earth, living with us, without causing awareness from human being, because they're totaly as similar as us, it's very difficult to distinguish them, unless you get trained. But the article also offers a few tips, one is: Alien will stay with one channel very long, but not just switch between different channels freuquently, when they watch TV, because they want to absorb the info as more as they can.

I practiced this on my husband: I watched him, pretending I was arranging the stuff on table, when he watchs TV. The result is pleasant: T just couldn't stay with one channel longer than 1 min. I felt a bit released, that moment I thought: Good, my man is not an alien. But the story is not that simple, I found out the fact is opposite......

Because there are so many things are unusual......

The alien doesn't know how to pick a gift. Alien already learn to buy flowers sometimes. For this basic thing, he has no problem. But he has no clue what kind of things he could choose as a gift for his wife. Once he was heading to Thailand for a business trip, the wife said: 'Bring me one pair of earings'. Alien was back with empty hands and showed a suffered face: 'I went to a shop, but I really don't know which earings suits you, so I didn't buy'. Then I understand as a human being woman, in case you just have an alien as your husband, you have to learn to be patient and understanding.

The alien hates shopping. This May when we were back to Shanghai, I planed to buy some new trousers for him, since these he has are a bit old already. Alien was uneasy during the process. When it's done, he seemed quite relaxed. Later he confessed:'I was stressed, I don't know which looks better, and which not.' If you marry to an alien, for his health sake, you'd better make the shopping process short, short and short. And do not bring him along if you puchase your own stuff.

The alien's body construction is different. I found it's hard to lean on him, which I used to do a lot in the past. Most time when I just lean myself against him, on shoulder or belly, he usually would sounds uncomfortable: 'Errr...', and sometimes painful:'Ouch...'. At start, I was wondering if there is a small bone or needle on my head or somewhere of my body, I checked and didn't find anything strange. But alien can enjoy leaning on me because I have a normal constructionof body.

Alien's tast changes in different time. He had tried green bean soup in a restaurant in Shanghai, he liked it. Since it's a very simple dish(you just put the green bean, suger into water till they got boiled), I cooked once for him when we were in Germany. Alien ate it with big curiosity and interest. After two spoons, he frowned and muttered: 'What a strange thing, I never tasted this before'. I had to judge if alien has a bad memory or the function of his tongue is different. I think it's the latter. Once again, we had this dish when we went to visit my mother, he commented (to me): This is interesting, not bad.' You can not deny that alien is really funny.

Alien feels guity if he doesn't wash dishes. One day, I cooked, we ate all of foods, I brought the dishes to kitchen, and started to wash, but alien ran to me and stopped me:'No,no,no, I wash them, you already cooked, otherwise I will feel guity.' That's sweet......I see the benefit of having an alien as husband. Now the rule is: One cooks, another one washes.

Too many details to describe here. But women, if you pay attention, you can discover it, if your husband is an alien or not. But if you're lazy, you may do the same as I did: Ask him directly. One day I couldn't withdraw my curiosity, so I asked T: 'It's said aliens always stays on one channel when they watch TV, but why you change so frequently?' T was not so concentrated, so he released his secret:'Because we aliens learn better how to cover ourselves not to be distinguished.' ACHSO(german)!

Anyway, no matter if T is an alien or not, I'm quite happy living with him and willing to help him to adapt to the life in the earth, and seems he improves himself too. Last time after his another business trip, he brought me Durian chips! And generally alien is nice and gentle, so definitely, I won't report him to policeman. 

links: digg this    del.icio.us    reddit