My life is not easy

These weeks are not so easy.....The week before last one for some unknown reason (maybe that's KFC's fault) my gall-stone was upset and started to torture me for several hours, and two days later it did it again (that day I had neither KFC, nor meat, chase...) for longer time. The doctor just sent me off with some medicine against stomach ailment, which is nothing to do with my problem. And last Friday afternoon the dear little stone 'played' its game again, lasting till Saturday afternoon. More than 20 hours I couldn't do anything, but concertrated on bearing the pain. The lucky thing is tomorrow I have an appointment with the doctor for a further checking. In the past a few days I ate little, I couldn't take it more even if I wanted, because my stomach always feels full. Wow, maybe this time I could sucess to lose some weight!

My mood is not that good. Today all of the time, I felt weak and at some moments my heart seemed had trouble too: I felt it's so heavy and it's not that easy to breathe. Meanwhile I have to deal with so many tasks. All of these drag me down. I began to miss my hometown: My mother would take care of me well (Well, I mean when she is around, I always feel safe and needn't worry. Just call me kid, and I don't care.), and I could rest at home for a while, and I needn't speak my shabby German everyday, sitting beside my colleagues in cantinee, trying to understand the conversation and join it, hoping time runs a bit quicker so that I can go back to my desk. Of course compared to half year ago my German is improved, but it's still not good enough, and I'm sure it will take me a few years to reach a ok 'satisfied' level, that, to me, is like another 'gall-stone', which tourtues you for a very longer time!!! Althrough most of my colleagues are freindly, at least superficial friendly, I feel I don't belong to anything; Althrough I did my work well and sometimes 'suprised' colleagues from different Dept, the 'comfort' is just temporary. 

Specially this winter is sooooooooo long and soooooooo cold, I hardly can bear it anymore, and there are still a few months before I can go back to visit my mother and lay on my bed again (it's my favorite bed ever.). Anyway today my mood is not good, so I declare the life in Germany is just a ''gall-stone''! 

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